When did it lose the spark - (Preview "The Simpsons")

It has been a long while since the Simpsons debuted on Fox (Ya I know really it was the Tracy Ulman show but fuck it). Way too many Seasons later and it's still going on. Just how long is too long to keep up good writing. How long can you stay relevant before the viewers say "No thanks there is a talking dog and a baby on later". How many products can you peddle before people say "A Simpsons shirt? They still make those?". Exactly when does what "Guest Voice" become the only reason to tune in. When did it lose that spark? Coming Soon.

Ninja The Mission Force

Did you know that there exists a web series that stars John Travolta, Orson Welles, and Charles Bronson. Ya and it's all about ninjas. The basic plot is that our hero Gordon is attempting to foil the villain Bruce by collecting the Avian Ninja Warriors. Well that's actually the framing device. The series is actually done in the style of Godfrey Ho. He is a former Hong Kong movie directer/screenwriter who made many movies using a cut and paste style. Basically he would film footage to then insert in another movie and dub the movie back over. This creates a bit of a disjointed movie that is funny for all the wrong reasons. Ninja The Mission Force is a disjointed show that's funny for all the right reasons. Right off the bat Gordons wife is kidnapped and he interacts with a video tape of her in a tv as if she's there. Of course all the dubbing is handled by about 4 or 5 people for the entire cast. Then there is the spliced in movies themselves. Also dubbed by the same people the movies are cut to work with the plot of the given episode. Using "The Night of the Living Dead" a movie about zombies to manufacture a bit about ninjas is just genius. Ninjas in space... check. The boy in the bubble... check. Orson Welles beating up a guy... check. Everything is put together in a tight 15 minute or so package easy to watch and digest. This is exactly the kind of thing that we need more of. Word is there may be a second season if demand is high. Exactly the reason I ask that you all watch it.

Hate a day - The first seven days

Something I decided to do this year was post one different thing that I hate every day of the year. The obvious reason is that I think a person can really find that many different things they hate is a year. Putting it simply if you don't hate then you are not a person. The only way you can love something is to know what it feels like to hate something. But that all aside I thought that every now and again I would take those things and do something fun with them. A video log type thing is on the table as is a probable art project made of those things in the list. For now here is a brief recap of the last seven days. Day one loud kids - Not many people who like this. Unfortunately it seems that every year parents seem to become more scared of their children.
Is this what we fear the children will do. Day 2 talked about overeating. This may seem like an overreaction but when people bitch about overeating it is more or less their own fault. Day three preached the hatred of Geico. This could have easily been a rant on any insurance commercial as they all are about the same but Geico seemed to start this trend. It began years ago and just gets worse every year. I won't post Geico commercials here as examples because I am not that much of an asshole. Day four took on the Kardassians. Seriously though there is no fucking reason for them to be on the TV. The show is boring and if that is the kind of thing that could entertain someone I feel so sorry for them. I didn't pick reality TV as a whole because there are a few gems but in the grand scheme we will be revisiting that particular subject. Day five brought Bob Dylan into the mix. The first time I heard him sing I legitimately thought someone was mocking him. Not much to say other than that. Hp was the target of day 6 and I could write entire essays on the subject. Just the same day the printer at work died and it's the same bullshit as anything I have ever seen with their name on it. Day seven tackles the baby month shit. I can't stand this shit. I realize someone thinks it's cute or something but it's just juvenile. An adult could talk like one and use real terminology. 14 months. Seriously? That's a one year old you fuckers. Well that is it for now. What hate will I infect the world with tomorrow? Ever jumped on a turtle using a glove? Well I have...

How many real phone calls do you get?

Now days most of us have cell phones. They can do all sorts of things and are most useful so long as one remembers to keep them charged. The sometimes overuse of ones cell phones relegates the house phone to a weird sort of zombie device. Not really a phone at this point and not really a device. The house phone seems to get all the unwanted calls that you don't want to be bothered with in your day to day hustle. When pressed to give a number to utilities and people who will only call when they want money most say "here take this number...I'm always at home...call me any time" This way you can continue with your drinking and your pill popping in peace. Sure there is always that relative who never wants to call your cell cause they can't remember the number or it's not a local call but most of the time it's just people you would rather ignore. Sure you could ignore them on your cell but then you would have to look at it and that's just too much damn work.

Fan Circles...From Hell: Part 1st - Introduction

So I was thinking again about potential ideas for topics and this one just hit me over the head like the reverse side of a hammer. Fan Circles... These are those kind of things that separate those who enjoy something and those who live it. Any big Band/Show/Series/Chicken Puppet has these. Know what a Trekkie is? If not then google it. These are the people who know all the character connections in the twilight series, every woman or woman like alien kirk bedded and what planet or ship he was on, and how many times Mike and the bots say "I thought I was dale?" I wanna delve in and see what makes them tick. The kicker is that there are limitless groups of hardcore fans out there and that gives a lot to cover. Drop a comment if there is some set of people you want to hear me get bent out of shape about. Ever seen a person say "live long and prosper" while pulling a gang sign. Just what the fuck is that anyway? Well I know that answer. Next time....Next time...

Looney Tunes...

Off and on lately I have seen that Cartoon Network has been showing "classic" Looney Tunes during the day. Now Cartoon Network itself is a whole other argument but leaving that aside it's the fucking Looney Tunes. When one thinks of the Looney Tunes what is the first thing that comes to your mind. Bugs Bunny is more than likely the answer you come up with. If it was Space Jam then I'm sorry..I'm so sorry. Unfortunately Bugs Bunny is the answer that people give and it angers me. There are many more Looney Tunes characters out there who don't just interact with Bugs but had their own things going on separate from him. Daffy Duck for example had his own cartoons that didn't just consist of him getting confused by the titular rabbit and shot in the face with a shotgun. These are my personal favorites. Do they get shown? Rarely. Almost every short I saw was from Bugs and whats worse is that most of them were the newer shorts. Right... the ones with new voices and newer looking animation. These were always that kind of black spot in the franchise I never like to remember and they show them all the time. Unless there is some sort of rights issue keeping them from showing older stuff I can't figure out why they don't put more variety in it. Some people might bring up The Looney Tunes Show and there is little I have to say on this. I mean taking classic characters and putting them into a sitcom like setting for these boring ass half hour episodes is insulting to the fans and the creators of the classic shorts. I have seen a few episodes so don't just thing this is one of those old guys hate new stuff thing going on here. To also touch point don't think that the Bugs bashing at the beginning means I hate Bugs Bunny. I am quite the fan. I just like the rest a bit better. Before I go you may want to know what we are up against in The Looney Tunes Show. If you really want to know just imagine hearing this song being sung karaoke style at a party held at Bugs Bunny's house by Elmer Fudd.

The Star Wars Problem... Part 1 of many...

Lets go back to the early eighties. For those of us who lived through the entirety of the eighties our parents threw a movie at us that was truly awesome. That movie was Star Wars (it wasn't called a new hope yet... that came later). For a good lot of us we weren't able to see it new in the theater (this was reserved for the older kids) but between VHS and cable and the taping of movies on cable a good deal of us got in a little after they gained the massive popularity they had in the early days. Back then being into Star Wars was a given. It wasn't a nerd only thing (yet) and had a popularity that didn't make much sense at the time. The action figures and the Cartoon Shows that followed were right there for us when we got to age and it cemented that whole "This is awesome" mindset Star Wars invoked. When I was three Star Wars was the shit. When I was four my father showed me Star Trek and Star Wars began to mean less. By age five transformers was out and Star Wars meant less and the subsequent years following diminished my interest in the "Trilogy". Later on (much later) the interest in Star Wars came back. Three new movies were coming out. We were gonna get to see the whole story of how Darth became Darth and the clone wars that were mentioned a couple of times in the "old" movies. How did this all work out you ask? Not the way most of us wanted to. Now it is time to go back and look at where this whole thing started for me and where it went so horribly wrong...